Cancer: 11 ideas to becoming a cancer survivor

Cancer: 11 ideas to becoming a cancer survivor: Surviving cancer from one cancer survivor’s mental, emotional and spiritual perspective.

Cancer. The test is positive. You have cancer.

Those three words were a time stopping life changing breath catching punch in the gut. All at once, life ceased holding the limitless potential of possibilities. Where I once took for granted the expansive idea of a plentiful future in a life measured by future decades, days no longer stretched into guaranteed years before me. No, at that moment, there seemed to be more yesterdays than there might be tomorrows.

From the core of my being, the connection of time to life had been shattered and scattered and tossed up in the air by an arbitrarily cruel and unfathomable to understand injustice of fate. The flood of emotions was overwhelming. Within the swirl of disbelief, fear, anger, sadness and acceptance of “Okay, I have cancer, now what?” I was presented the best options to treat my specific cancer.

After I agreed on a treatment plan, there was nothing more to do than show up at the hospital, cancer clinic, and oncologist office at the specified times and wait…and wait…and wait for test results that monitored each treatment to determine if the treatments were working. Surgeons, physicians, technicians and oncologists took care of my physical being; my mental, emotional and spiritual wellness were mine to tend.

You have been told you have cancer. Even though there are so many of us now, the news is still a shock to the spirit. In that moment the breath catches and pauses out of rythmn. The heart drops into another pool of sadness. I am surviving cancer. I want you to survive cancer.

In my mind, I retrace the time from my initial cancer diagnosis to these eight years later as a cancer survivor. What did I do that might have tipped the scales in my favor of more days and not less? What can I share with you that might make a difference? I am not a doctor or cancer researcher or spiritual adviser.

I am a cancer survivor. While I cannot be certain which actions I took or decisions I made for my mental, emotional and spiritual wellness that kept me alive longer than statisticians predicted at the time of my cancer diagnosis, I will share with you my attitude and perspective during my cancer treatments and healing. Maybe there is something in all of it that matters, that made a difference; that if you know, will help you in your healing.

Have faith in your healers. Look for compassion. Those who have time to listen. Those who have time to answer your questions. Listen to your intuition when you meet with them, feel what your intuition is telling you. If you do not believe in your healers, keep looking until you find the healers you can believe in. Then have faith they will do everything they can, as expertly as they can, to help you heal. Let them know you will be doing everything you can to help yourself heal, while they are doing everything they can to help you heal.

Realize you have options. You may not like most of your options, but you have options. Do not allow yourself to believe you are helpless to choose, change or affect the outcome of the challenge before you. Take your time. Research the recommended options, and when you are certain they are the right ones for you, then and only then consent to the treatment.

The surgeon, the oncologist, the radiologist, the chemotherapy nurse, the plastic surgeon, the oncology social worker, all the healers and health care  workers  have been trained to do the jobs they do. Most likely you have not been trained in any of these specialties. It can be impressive what they know and what they can do. At the same time, you have a responsibility and right to know the how, what, where, when and why of their planned treatments.  You need to ask questions until there is no doubt in your understanding. This is, after all, your life.

Become nutrition wise. Find out what others are saying in relation to cancer and nutrition. Some cancer patients begin to follow a macrobiotic diet, or glycemic index diet, or the Mediterranean diet pyramid, or become vegetarian. Some cancer patients begin to cook from scratch, selecting only fresh, local and organic meats, vegetables and fruits.

Beware quacks and snake oil salesmen. Sad but true, the unscrupulous lurk in the shadows to take advantage of the vulnerable and frightened. Be skeptical, cynical and cautious.

At the same time, do not dismiss out of hand centuries old traditions like Ayreveda, Chinese Medicine, yoga, acupuncture, meditation, massage, talk therapy, support groups, visualization and the power of prayer without first researching what these healing modalities might offer. Still, be wary of any program or any person who seeks to separate you from any substantial amount of money. Research into any of the aforementioned can be done without financial cost or relatively cheaply.

Inquiry, research or a trial run are reasonable. Not every tradition or practice will offer the same benefit to every cancer patient. If you find an alternative healing practice that feels good and seems to offer benefit, consider integrating it into the conventional medical treatments you are undergoing. Speak with your physician about anything you are considering doing.

Forgiveness and letting go. All the deep down inside loneliness, the memories of abandonment, the coldness, the resentments, the anger, the grudges, the memories of any physical and emotional injury, that may have happened in the past. Write letters, long letters to each person you had a difficult relationship with at any point in my life. Write and write and write until you have nothing else to say, and say it all. Then ceremonially build a fire in the wood stove or fireplace or at the next campfire and watch each letter burn until it is pure ash. Until it is gone. Then turn away.

Forgiveness is not about ever letting the other person off the hook or minimizing the harm caused. Forgiveness is ending the power of the other person’s original harm over you by not allowing it another minute of thought or feeling. You have a right to have your say, and you may never exercised this right. Writing letters is a safe and effective means of having your say. Burning the letters to ash is letting go. With letting go, you create more room for healing.

You are not alone. Even if you do not believe in guardian angels, or God, or an operating universal intelligence of some kind, go ahead and allow yourself the idea that at least one is with you at all times. Looking out for you, at all times, and has been with you before you were born. Believe you are loved, completely and unconditionally loved, and that you always have been, even in the times you may not have felt you were loved. Keep telling yourself you were always loved, are loved now, and will always be loved. You were never, and are not now, and never will be, alone. Hold fast that love, providence and grace are your constant companions — in whatever concept is comfortable for you.

Never accept blame. Do not blame yourself or allow others to suggest that you caused your cancer. Accept responsibility for the lifestyle changes you can make to help with your healing, but I repeat, never accept blame from yourself or others.

In Healing Words by Larry Dossey, Saints and Sinners, Health and Healers, he notes that:

“Many great spiritual leaders have suffered ignominious ends marked by grotesque pain and suffering. Saint Bernadette, died of bone cancer. Jiddu Krishnamurti, died of pancreatic cancer. Suzuki Roshi, who brought Zen Buddhism to the U.S., died of liver cancer. The list goes on and on. And sickly saints are mirrored by what we could call healthy reprobates — individuals who have no obvious spiritual inclinations whatsoever, who break all the rules of good health, smoke and drink with abandon, and live to be a hundred without ever falling ill. Simply accept and understand there is a great mystery here to life and we are standing in the middle of it. Illness is not a punishment.”

Rediscover time. Find ways to be in the present moment. Observe the beauty surrounding you. Breath in the tranquility of being in the moment. Spend time in nature. Make time for yourself. Be active in ways that make you feel good, that give you a sense of awe, renewal and enthusiasm.

Create a portable healing shrine. Set aside time each day to collect inspirational quotes, prayers and stories of healing. Write these down on slips of paper. Create a portable healing shrine for yourself. Mine sat on my bedside table, and I kept my slips of paper of quotes, prayers and stories of healing in a beautiful little box. I placed in my healing shrine, photos and momentos that had great personal meaning to me, that represented a tender love or pleasant memory. I kept a small blue velvet drawstring bag filled with the slips of paper of the prayers I felt were most powerful for me, so that when I had to travel or be in surgery or treatment, I had inspiration with me.

Plan for the future. Make a list of all the things you would like to do in your life and all the places you would like to see. Make step by step plans on how to do and see all that is on your list. Take the time to make a long list. Add to your list as time goes on. Keep an open mind that you will have all the time you need to accomplish every item on your list. There is no rush, no hurry. You will have the time you need.

Avoid toxic people. We all have them in our life, and we all know who they are, and we put up with them. They are the people, who on the surface may appear nice, but whenever we spend time with them, we leave the experience feeling bad somehow. These people can be family members, coworkers or friends. If you cannot avoid these people, mentally visualize a white protective light surrounding you and protecting you when you are in their presence, that protects you from their toxicity.

Fill your environment with colors you love, aromas you adore, art and books that move your soul, organizations you believe in and people you hold most dear. Honor yourself at all times, follow your dreams and celebrate your life continuously. Cancer has happened to you, it is not who you are, it does not define you. Today, there are many cancer survivors and there is every reason for you to believe you will survive cancer too.


©2010 by Dalene Entenmann for crankyaboutcancer.com

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